Have You Ever...

Have you ever…

Have you ever been what I’ve been?

Seen what I’ve seen?

You may pretend to understand what I am,

Yet you have no idea.

You judge me,

Though you do not know me,

You have no idea what I’m about.

Have you ever had spiders put in your bed, knowing it will happen again and again?

Have you ever had a gun held to your head, a single bullet made of lead,

The trigger pulled over again? Never knowing if you’ll be dead?

A sick game played again and again?

Have you ever been beaten so bloody and bad you don’t even know your very own name?

You’ll do anything to stop the pain?

Been locked in a tiny cupboard for days on end,

Living in total darkness, hunger and dread?

Where you long for the days he’d get drunk and sleep,

Knowing when he wakes up its back to work.

Ever been sold in the street to pay for his fix?

Ever made time in a hospital choking on your own blood?

Had him set his rabid dogs on you?

Had him let his friends have you?

Ever been violated in every way known to man?                                           

Your spirit only broken a few thousand times...

Suffered every degradation and humiliation,

From a sadistic bastard with a sick imagination?

Have you ever spent your nights on the street,

Working the corners or you’ll get beat?

You know the man – he’s my dad

The one who does all these things to me.

The man who raised me to be me

The sick bastard who treated me so

So what if I killed him?

He deserved to go.

So don’t try to understand me,

Make me see the error of my ways.

Don’t judge me – you don’t have that right.

You’ve never been what I’ve been, seen what I’ve seen.

So put me in jail and throw away the key

Take away my right to be free

Call me insane, maybe it’s true

But I fought back see, I killed them all too.

I got my revenge, put my life right

I’ve lived such a life… fear and dread

Pain and rage and helpless humiliation

Every kind of torture you could put a girl through.

Believe me, I’ve lived it, day in…day out

So I broke the cycle. I got out.

I’ve lived such a life for my young age…

You can’t begin to understand so just put me in a cage

So throw me in jail, punish me.

I killed the people who tried to kill me.